They always come at the least expected time, when everything’s calm, when I’m doing just fine
Then out of nowhere they creep up slowly without warning or sign
Before I know, their all rushing in, as I’m thinking to myself, NOT AGAIN
Next thing I know hell breaks loose within. I’m fighting another war I’m not sure I can win
No longer dormant, my world is turned upside down Constantly I’m going from a frown to a smile and from a smile to a frown.
Once again I’m an emotional roller-coaster, my least favorite ride.
In no way was I prepared for this emotional tide
One day I care, the next I’m over it, then I’m pretending like I don’t know where my feelings went
When all the while I know exactly where they are because they never seem to drift too far
The next week I care; reminiscing my anger caves in I’m happy, sad, angry and different, just a few from the emotional army brigade that I constantly fight with
Fast forward a few weeks I’m calm, joyful, excited; fuel has been fed to the fire already ignited
Next month I have hope, then I’m hopeless with hope-filled thoughts.
Going back and forth through the many moments, ending up at distraught
I’m thinking of every convo detail of previous convos and of convos that haven’t happened and may never will, slightly torturing myself but diving in still
When the sun goes down I’m dreaming of memories past and memories I want to come.
It’s a comfort I suppose yet easier dreamt than done
I wake up and repeat the cycle, in no particular order again. Like Damn who told these emotions that they could come in. Inhabit my mind, my heart, bring a change of wind?
How dare they cause chaos in my peace filled mind?
They’re not welcome in here and another host they need to find
But until then up and down I go in this never ending emotional cycle.
My peace, my dormant heart, my view beyond what I feel has been obstructed
This is the chronicle of a girl interrupted.