Three Actions to take BEFORE the Big Bridesmaids Ask

Three Actions to take before Big Bridesmaids Ask


You’re engaged and are over joyed at jumping into planning your wedding, and yes choosing your lovely big bridesmaids to take this wonderful journey leading up to the aisle with you. In this post we want to give you three aspects to consider BEFORE going through with the big ask to your potential bridesmaids and maid of honor.

Who are They

You may have a long list of friends and or siblings that are you are considering to be apart of your bridal party. You may be thinking about your friend from pre-school who you’ve known the longest. Or You may be thinking of the friend you’ve recently grown close to over the past five years. It can be overwhelming when you have so many women who are special to you for different reasons.

Action step: Make a list of everyone you are considering to be your big bridesmaids. Add a star for anyone you’re considering to be your maid of honor.

What are the Responsibilities

The second thing you want to look at is, the responsibilities and duties you’ll be tasking your bridesmaids with. Its vital that you lay out the responsibilities you’ll be assigning to your bridesmaids. Not only will it be beneficial in aiding you in choosing the right fit for bridesmaids, but it will also set your expectations from the beginning. This can be things such as putting together the favors, or decor. Be sure to also include the usual stuff such as bridal shower, dress fittings, bachelorette celebrations (if you wish).

Action step: create a list, within your physical wedding binder or in word document of tasks. From that list, decide what your bridesmaids will be responsible for. Create a separate list for additional duties for the maid/matron of honor.

Now that you have an complete picture of what your expectations are for your big bridesmaids, you’ll have a clearer view of who is capable of fulfilling the role as your big bridesmaid.

Action step: Review your first list and narrow it down to who you think and who you know is CAPABLE of fulfilling the duties and tasks of the bridal party

Who is Able

You’ve created your list of who you want to ask to be a bridesmaids, you’ve narrowed it down to who is capable of handling the responsibility. Now you need to look at who is able. Someone can be capable not but able to complete a task or fill a role.

Example: Kelly is is your childhood friend and her organization skills make her capable of assisting in planning the bridal shower, however, she is not able to plan the bridal shower because she is planning her own wedding.

Think about what may currently be occurring in someone’s life that would make them unable to fulfill the role of being a bridesmaids. Also consider upcoming events that may affect their ability to commit to their roles.

We hope looking into these three things will aid in narrowing down your list to the best big bridesmaids and maid/matron of honor.


If you haven’t read our previous blog, Choosing Your Bridesmaids” take a look at a more in depth look at choosing your big bridesmaids!

For even MORE guidance on planning your wedding, our Wedding Season Chronicles: a quick guide for brides, grooms, bridal party members and wedding guests is now available for Pre-Sale!

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