When people say “you’ve missed out on a good thing”, they are usually referring to a superficial layer of qualities. It will also come out as “I got my shit together.” It’s a false idea of someone having a few things going their way, mostly of the physical. This may come about as someone that has their own car, apartment/house and pays their own bills. In essence, it seems like they have everything going for themselves. This only speaks on surface of their livelihood.  What about on a deeper, internal level? Often, surface level characteristics mask the guarded insecurities that are the root of negative thoughts. After all, the mind is the control mechanism that allows thoughts of satisfaction and accomplishment to manifest. Are you truly satisfied? Until the mind is satisfied those surface level qualities mean nothing.

            Someone that fully has their “shit together” is someone that is considered “whole”, a combination of both physical and mental qualities that satisfy themselves mentally to the point where they are at peace with themselves. This comes with you accepting the good and the bad as part of life. You have to have a great balance of your life’s outcomes, not taking blame or blaming others for things that are out of your control, but taking responsibility for faults of your own and affording meaningful contributions to society.
            The formula to being “whole” is simple, but complex due to dense layers of understanding. Then, transforming your understanding of self  into actions includes continuous efforts towards self-satisfaction on both the physical and mental levels. A conscious effort to understand yourself and reshape your thoughts for the positive equals a “whole” individual. To realize or satisfy your own talents and potential along with grounding your thinking to motivate yourself for the greater good can be seen as self-actualization. Self-actualization can lead you to not let anyone’s outside influence dictate what satisfies your true needs and desires. Knowing your purpose and true potential will detour you from floating down stream like drift wood, “going with the flow”. Thoughts control behaviors; negative thoughts lead to negative behaviors. If you are in tune with your true purpose of self you will be able to deflect negative thoughts that detour you off the path of true satisfaction and achievement.
            A continuous, fine tuning process is required in the journey of finding yourself and becoming whole. A period of being selfish, finding out your true desires and needs is always needed. Equip yourself with the cure of mental freedom by honing in on what is really important and purposeful before masking it with physical qualities that give off empty depictions of “success”.
    K.A. Payne

U.S Navy Corpsman OEF veteran
Psychology Technician