Choosing your Bridesmaids

Choosing your Bridesmaids

How to choose your bridesmaids

Choosing your Bridesmaids is a delicate task and should take a variety of things into consideration. Let’s take a look at a couple of them.

One of the most important things to consider when you choosing your bridesmaids is where they are in life currently. You will need responsible, dependable bridesmaids in your bridal party. Consider their mental and emotional state. If one of your friends is in a tumultuous relationship, that might affect her ability to fulfill her duties whether it be time wise or emotional.  Or if a friend is battling a health issue, physical or mental, asking them to be apart of your wedding may not be the best thing to do. You need bridesmaid who are in stable places in life. If you know a friend that is irresponsible with money or that never seems to have the finances for activities or outings, committing financially to a wedding will be hard for her. Or if someone you are considering is always hopping from job to job, or always moving, and just never seems to be stable, she may not be a good fit for your bridal party. On the other side of things, if a potential bridesmaid is preparing to move, having a baby, getting married or in the midst of any major life changing event, she may not be able to fully commit to being apart of the bridal party due to the transition(s) in her life.

Next, take into consideration their personality, habits and traits. Let’s face it, we all have friends and family who are best suited for certain things. The friend  that always flakes out on plans or the friend that is ALWAYS late may cause issues at some point during planning or on wedding day. Look at a history of their habits. This may sound like a bit much but trust me, I’ve seen bridal parties decline or go left when someone or some people did not commit or weren’t able to fulfill their bridesmaids duties. I’ve heard brides admit that they should have had the person be a guest but because they were really close to the person they asked them to be a bridesmaid. If you have that friend that is overly confrontational or always has some type of drama in their lives, take those things into consideration.

Lastly, being a bridesmaid has its general duties such as purchasing a dress and shoes, as well as throwing a bachelorette and bridal shower. Consider the duties you’ll be giving or assigning your bridesmaids, consider the time and financial obligations your bridesmaids will need to commit to. One person may be able financially responsible and able to commit in that aspect, but they may not be able to commit to the time aspect for all events/appointments leading up to the wedding.


These are just a couple of things to really think about before asking friends or family to be a bridesmaid. It will be beneficial to both yourself and to the girls you’ll be asking. You want to choose bridesmaids who you are confident will be able to support you, help you and fulfill their roles as bridesmaids. You also don’t want to make a friend or family member feel pressured to say yes, if you know they’re currently not in the best place in life.

Along the lines, things can change and life happens but taking these things into consideration from the beginning, may very well save you stress and save a friendship.

Want to learn more about planning your wedding? Check out our 5 tips for newly Engaged Brides.

Sometimes We Need Saving from Ourself

Sometimes we need saving from ourselves.
Its extremely hard to admit it, but sometimes we are the villain of our own story.
Its easier to blame everyone else though,  to point the finger outwards.
Its a natural reaction when we refuse to look within. When we choose to remain in denial because we don’t want to go there. 
We don’t want to believe we can be mentally and emotionally harmful to ourselves.
We don’t want to admit we our, our own antagonist at times.
Sometimes we need saving from ourselves. The world around us reacts to what we put out. We get angry when we see the reaction to fail to look at the cause.
Sometimes we need saving from ourselves,  most times we don’t realize it. Looking within for the issue is the last thing on our list because in our minds it must be someone else to cause our mess.
Sometimes I need saving from myself its ok to admit.

Alexis Pettway
Appeasing Yourself

Appeasing Yourself

When people say “you’ve missed out on a good thing”, they are usually referring to a superficial layer of qualities. It will also come out as “I got my shit together.” It’s a false idea of someone having a few things going their way, mostly of the physical. This may come about as someone that has their own car, apartment/house and pays their own bills. In essence, it seems like they have everything going for themselves. This only speaks on surface of their livelihood.  What about on a deeper, internal level? Often, surface level characteristics mask the guarded insecurities that are the root of negative thoughts. After all, the mind is the control mechanism that allows thoughts of satisfaction and accomplishment to manifest. Are you truly satisfied? Until the mind is satisfied those surface level qualities mean nothing.

            Someone that fully has their “shit together” is someone that is considered “whole”, a combination of both physical and mental qualities that satisfy themselves mentally to the point where they are at peace with themselves. This comes with you accepting the good and the bad as part of life. You have to have a great balance of your life’s outcomes, not taking blame or blaming others for things that are out of your control, but taking responsibility for faults of your own and affording meaningful contributions to society.
            The formula to being “whole” is simple, but complex due to dense layers of understanding. Then, transforming your understanding of self  into actions includes continuous efforts towards self-satisfaction on both the physical and mental levels. A conscious effort to understand yourself and reshape your thoughts for the positive equals a “whole” individual. To realize or satisfy your own talents and potential along with grounding your thinking to motivate yourself for the greater good can be seen as self-actualization. Self-actualization can lead you to not let anyone’s outside influence dictate what satisfies your true needs and desires. Knowing your purpose and true potential will detour you from floating down stream like drift wood, “going with the flow”. Thoughts control behaviors; negative thoughts lead to negative behaviors. If you are in tune with your true purpose of self you will be able to deflect negative thoughts that detour you off the path of true satisfaction and achievement.
            A continuous, fine tuning process is required in the journey of finding yourself and becoming whole. A period of being selfish, finding out your true desires and needs is always needed. Equip yourself with the cure of mental freedom by honing in on what is really important and purposeful before masking it with physical qualities that give off empty depictions of “success”.
    K.A. Payne

U.S Navy Corpsman OEF veteran
Psychology Technician

Cruise into 2019!

Cruise into 2019!

I’m so excited to announce that AP Travel Services will be hosting its first cruise in the Spring of 2019.
We are headed to the pink sand beaches of Bermuda!!
Click the link to get all the juicy details.
**Spolier alert*** deposits are only
$25/per person!!
Grab a friend, a boo, a family member or anyone you know who likes to have a good time and reserve your cabin today!!!
Indie Author Legacy Awards!

Indie Author Legacy Awards!

A few years ago, I said to myself I wanted to go to events catered to authors like author conferences and workshops,etc.
Around that time I also started following a woman named Tieshena Davis. She is the owner of Purposely Publishing.

About two years ago I saw that she hosts this annual awards for Authors. I kept seeing pictures from the events and decided I wanted to make one the events.

This year I made it happen and signed up for vending at this year’s event in the Baltimore Harbor. I was super excited and couldn’t wait to see and meet authors.

Let me tell yall, I don’t get out that often but when I got to the event and I knew a few other authors that were there, it definitely warmed my heart to be in Baltimore and to run into fellow authors I’ve met a various past events. It was amazing! I didn’t think i was going to know anyone there besides m friend Damont, who went on to win poet of the year!

Also, I didn’t realize that the guest host was none other than Kim Coles, from living single.
Let me say she looks exactly the same and she is super sweet! I really enjoyed meeting her.

The vendor spot I purchased was in a different room from the actual event but I watched most of the awards ceremony. It was amazing to see so many authors gathered and to listen to their award speeches.

it was also awesome to finally meet Tieshena Davis after following her on Facebook for so long.
 She is super passionate about publishing and helping other authors reach their potential.

I will definitely be attending this event next year!I also need to visit Baltimore again to explore more of the harbor!