Choosing your Bridesmaids is a delicate task and should take a variety of things into consideration. Let’s take a look at a couple of them.
One of the most important things to consider when you choosing your bridesmaids is where they are in life currently. You will need responsible, dependable bridesmaids in your bridal party. Consider their mental and emotional state. If one of your friends is in a tumultuous relationship, that might affect her ability to fulfill her duties whether it be time wise or emotional. Or if a friend is battling a health issue, physical or mental, asking them to be apart of your wedding may not be the best thing to do. You need bridesmaid who are in stable places in life. If you know a friend that is irresponsible with money or that never seems to have the finances for activities or outings, committing financially to a wedding will be hard for her. Or if someone you are considering is always hopping from job to job, or always moving, and just never seems to be stable, she may not be a good fit for your bridal party. On the other side of things, if a potential bridesmaid is preparing to move, having a baby, getting married or in the midst of any major life changing event, she may not be able to fully commit to being apart of the bridal party due to the transition(s) in her life.
Next, take into consideration their personality, habits and traits. Let’s face it, we all have friends and family who are best suited for certain things. The friend that always flakes out on plans or the friend that is ALWAYS late may cause issues at some point during planning or on wedding day. Look at a history of their habits. This may sound like a bit much but trust me, I’ve seen bridal parties decline or go left when someone or some people did not commit or weren’t able to fulfill their bridesmaids duties. I’ve heard brides admit that they should have had the person be a guest but because they were really close to the person they asked them to be a bridesmaid. If you have that friend that is overly confrontational or always has some type of drama in their lives, take those things into consideration.
Lastly, being a bridesmaid has its general duties such as purchasing a dress and shoes, as well as throwing a bachelorette and bridal shower. Consider the duties you’ll be giving or assigning your bridesmaids, consider the time and financial obligations your bridesmaids will need to commit to. One person may be able financially responsible and able to commit in that aspect, but they may not be able to commit to the time aspect for all events/appointments leading up to the wedding.
These are just a couple of things to really think about before asking friends or family to be a bridesmaid. It will be beneficial to both yourself and to the girls you’ll be asking. You want to choose bridesmaids who you are confident will be able to support you, help you and fulfill their roles as bridesmaids. You also don’t want to make a friend or family member feel pressured to say yes, if you know they’re currently not in the best place in life.
Along the lines, things can change and life happens but taking these things into consideration from the beginning, may very well save you stress and save a friendship.
Want to learn more about planning your wedding? Check out our 5 tips for newly Engaged Brides.
Let me just start off by saying that this post is NOT about the tv show, the “Walking Dead”
This post stemmed from a conversation a friend and I were having a couple of weeks ago. We were talking about how we see so many people, whether it be family or people we grew up with, who are alive but not living. I blurted out the term, the walking dead.
In the tv show, the walking dead are zombies. They are reanimated corpses due to some virus or bite. The have some physical mobility and crave
As an entrepreneur, I struggle, I have wins and losses within myself and my business, but at the end of the day, I know I’m working for something I’m passionate about, something that makes me happy, something that will better my future. Something that gives me more out of life.
So when I see people just going through the motions, not pushing or striving for anything it pains me.
It pains me to see people who haven’t found their passion or who don’t have the ambition, confidence or motivation to pursue their goals, and or dreams; whether it be a certain career, business ownership or health goals.
This happens for a million different reasons, too many to go into details about. I’ll just stick to my point.
I used to work at Sikorsky, a company that builds the black hawk helicopters for the U.S. military.
Some of the top executives I would encounter would seem so miserable, bitter and just mean.
I’d always ask myself how could these people seem to be so miserable when their making a lot of money?
Is it the pressure? The stress? Or is it that their current career wasn’t what their passion was but it is where the money is.
I heard a successful real estate mogul, Roberta Hoskie, once say ” Where your passion is, your prosperity will follow.”
I believe that to be true. I’ve read countless stories about lawyers, accountants, people making a lot of money, leave these stable and prosperous positions in companies to pursue their passion.
Side note, I feel that when you know your passion and or purpose it eats at you when you’re not pursuing it. Your soul isn’t at rest when you’re not pursuing your passion. I believe it to be an internal check and balance for whatever and whoever we’e meant to be on this earth.
I’ve even met a woman who was a top executive for Bank of America. She left that position making well over 100k a year. She is now a successful real estate agent and the President of the Rhode Island Black Business Association. She advocated for workers, and entrepreneurs throughout the state of Rhode Island.
Then there are those who we see in every day life, passionless or so it seems. They lack drive, and ambition. They have no desire to explore what they could accomplish or explore their full potential.
Some of these people want to do this and that but never take the first step to do so.
If you’re reading this and you know someone who fits into the “walking dead” description, send some encouragement their way.
If you feel you’re stuck in life, barely moving and feel you are the walking dead, I want to breathe some life into you by saying make today different, take action, take steps to create the life you want and deserve.
We only have one life, make the best of it. Fill it with happiness, productivity, love and elevation.
Don’t continue to let life pass you by, take control.
Don’t waste another minute being, the walking dead.
I don’t know if I mentioned it but I LOVE psychology. I love the aspects of the mind, how they work and how they appear differently in everyone’s lives.
I’ve longed thought about the topic of the heart, mind and soul having connection with the psychology terms, ID, Ego and Super-Ego.
*Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist, nor do I have a degree in psychology. I have a concentration in psychology which puts a measly 3 psych classes under my belt. The thoughts of this blog are purely my opinion and interpretation of this subject*
Before we get into it, Sigmund Freud, a man greatly studied in psychology, is best known for creation of psychoanalysis.
His theories from over a hundred years ago, are still explored and studied today.
Sigmund had the idea that one’s personality is split into three parts, consisting of the ego, super ego and id. (McLeod, S.A. (2016). Id ego and superego)
The Id, represents our natural impulses and uncontrolled wants. The Id wants immediate gratification with no regard to reason or ration. It is within our subconscious and holds our deepest and darkest desires. The Id wants only its desires satisfied, no matter the risk.
The ego develops to achieve the id’s desires in a safe and thought out manner. It is in touch with reality and strategies to achieve the id’s desires in a realistic way to avoid harm to the id or ego. It does not hold any morality when it comes to achieving the id’s desires.
The superego is the moral compass for the ego and Id.The superego is most in touch with reality and society.
The superego encompasses not only seeks realistic ways to achieve pleasure/satisfaction but encompasses our morals and values that have been instilled by family and society.
To learn more about the ego, super ego and id, check out these articles
Now that we have an idea of the three parts of personalty, what’s this crazy idea that I think they correlate or are in some form a mirror of the heart mind and soul?
You ever heard the phrase, “The heart wants, what the heart wants? It’s become a thing people say to justify wanting someone.
The phrase is a quote from one of Emily Dickerson’s letters to a friend, but one part of that quote is left out, The entire quote reads, ” The heart wants, what the heart wants-or else it does not care.”
She also has a poem that begins with,”The heart asks pleasure first”
As I read these quotes and hear continuously hear, the heart wants what the heart wants I reflect on my own experiences with my heart and how after being hurt by something or someone, I would still crave them because at some point that same person gave my heart pleasure. It satisfied its desires. I never understood why. I soon put together this idea that the heart may be a mirror or some form of my id. How many people do you see clinging to something or someone for that pleasure,all the while harming themselves or other people? Yes I know every situation is different and many other factors occur but, like I said its a theory, my theory that is.
Next, I believe the mind is a mirror of the ego.
Our minds finds ways and make plans to improve our lives such as building a career, passing tests in school, living a healthy lifestyle, or just living our life the way we want, so that we can feel pleasure and be happy. Being happy, having out desires fulfilled, pleases the us, or the id.
The mind is realistic in finding ways to achieve this, just as the ego is.
Just to be clear, I am speaking of a normal, functioning mind here. I know all minds aren’t the same.
Just as the ego, the mind is also weak and can give into our instinctual and irrational desires, which most often leads to consequences.
The last piece of the puzzle is the soul. I believe this mirrors the super ego, holding our morals, values and spiritual beliefs. I believe our souls morally guide us. You ever hear someone say, something doesn’t sit right with them? Or they can feel it in their soul?
I believe our soul is our moral compass. Guiding us to do the right things when it comes to society and to ourselves. That true gratification for doing something morally right is a different kind of satisfaction, from that of pleasing our own desires without regard to anyone else.
This is truly an introduction to a very interesting discussion and is a very basic display of how and why I thought of this theory.
I would love to know your thoughts, and or personal experiences regarding this subject!!
Below is how my id, ego an super ego interact 😃😃😂😂
Since this is my first official post on blogger, I thought I’d introduce myself.
My name is Alexis Pettway. I was born and raised in Bridgeport, CT
By profession I was a cafe supervisor. I graduated Johnson & Wales univ with degrees in Culinary arts and Food-service management. I am now a pension service admin. Crazy switch right? Being at my last place of employment drained my desire to be in the food industry. Although I am still a part time banquet server in the summers. I love that job!
By passion, purpose and destiny, I am an author and a poet.
I have been writing poetry for over 15 years and it is a gift that I greatly cherish.
If I am anything at heart, I am a writer. Before I began writing poetry, I wrote books in elementary school and entered them into our young author’s competition.
Today, I have two self published books of poetry, chronicling my emotions during a past relationship. Maybe I’ll do a blog post exploring the depths of those books later on
For now, this blog explore self revelations, physical behaviors to psychology aspects and of course poetry and quotes.
I think a lot and am excited to share my thoughts, my beliefs, and experiences with you.
A few months ago I released my second book, Journey Thru Love, online.
Next week, I am hosting a official release celebration!
I am so excited to present ART meets ART for my book release!
ART meets ART is a the collaboration of poetry and art
It will be a night showcasing the art of local artists along with Journey Thru Love part 2
I will be reading 4 poems from Journey Thru love as well as highlighting the portraits inspired by them!
Come out for an artistic celebration!!