How to choose your bridesmaids

Choosing your Bridesmaids is a delicate task and should take a variety of things into consideration. Let’s take a look at a couple of them.

One of the most important things to consider when you choosing your bridesmaids is where they are in life currently. You will need responsible, dependable bridesmaids in your bridal party. Consider their mental and emotional state. If one of your friends is in a tumultuous relationship, that might affect her ability to fulfill her duties whether it be time wise or emotional.  Or if a friend is battling a health issue, physical or mental, asking them to be apart of your wedding may not be the best thing to do. You need bridesmaid who are in stable places in life. If you know a friend that is irresponsible with money or that never seems to have the finances for activities or outings, committing financially to a wedding will be hard for her. Or if someone you are considering is always hopping from job to job, or always moving, and just never seems to be stable, she may not be a good fit for your bridal party. On the other side of things, if a potential bridesmaid is preparing to move, having a baby, getting married or in the midst of any major life changing event, she may not be able to fully commit to being apart of the bridal party due to the transition(s) in her life.

Next, take into consideration their personality, habits and traits. Let’s face it, we all have friends and family who are best suited for certain things. The friend¬† that always flakes out on plans or the friend that is ALWAYS late may cause issues at some point during planning or on wedding day. Look at a history of their habits. This may sound like a bit much but trust me, I’ve seen bridal parties decline or go left when someone or some people did not commit or weren’t able to fulfill their bridesmaids duties. I’ve heard brides admit that they should have had the person be a guest but because they were really close to the person they asked them to be a bridesmaid. If you have that friend that is overly confrontational or always has some type of drama in their lives, take those things into consideration.

Lastly, being a bridesmaid has its general duties such as purchasing a dress and shoes, as well as throwing a bachelorette and bridal shower. Consider the duties you’ll be giving or assigning your bridesmaids, consider the time and financial obligations your bridesmaids will need to commit to. One person may be able financially responsible and able to commit in that aspect, but they may not be able to commit to the time aspect for all events/appointments leading up to the wedding.


These are just a couple of things to really think about before asking friends or family to be a bridesmaid. It will be beneficial to both yourself and to the girls you’ll be asking. You want to choose bridesmaids who you are confident will be able to support you, help you and fulfill their roles as bridesmaids. You also don’t want to make a friend or family member feel pressured to say yes, if you know they’re currently not in the best place in life.

Along the lines, things can change and life happens but taking these things into consideration from the beginning, may very well save you stress and save a friendship.

Want to learn more about planning your wedding? Check out our 5 tips for newly Engaged Brides.