Growing up and even now, I would always hear how the holidays are tough and are the worst time of year for some people. In my bubble of holiday cheer and Christmas celebration, I would always ask how? Why? The holidays are the best time of the year!
That ideology came from  life in a household where the house was decorated inside and out until it looked like something from the north pole. A household where presents were always abundant; where Christmas songs blared all month, only silenced by the nightly watching of ABC family’s 25 days of Christmas or riding around looking at Christmas lights in nice neighborhoods. I grew up in a household, full of family, and never-ending holiday cheer.
This Thanksgiving that all changed when I realized my grandfather was not there. 11 days prior to the holiday, my family was in the MCICU wing of a hospital as my grandfather passed on. It was the most intense and traumatic thing I’ve ever seen. To be honest I’m still in shock about the whole ordeal. It was so unexpected and sudden and it happened so quick. In those 10 days leading up to the holiday, my family, especially my grandmother had a long lists of tasks to complete. So there was little room to think about thanksgiving.
The day came and as we sat around the table, there was  quiet sorrow in the room for we all knew one person was missing. My grandmother fixed a plate for my grandfather, we said a prayer and wished him a happy thanksgiving. This was the first holiday without him, the first holiday I found myself dealing with grief.
Christmas is coming and it will be the first one without him, his birthday just a day before mines will be the first one without him. Every holiday will have a touch of sadness on it because my family isn’t whole as it had been my whole life.
This is life and these things happen. Its never easy to deal or accept them, especially around the holiday as as I now see for myself.
This holiday season will be different than any other holiday season. My family will be sad we will cry but my family will also watch videos, look at pictures, tell stories and jokes and remember the great times we had with my grandfather. 
I now feel the small sense of sadness within my heart as many do around the holidays as they miss a loved one.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with sorrow. This article gives 10 ways to deal with grief during the holiday season. I found that it had something for a range of personality types. offers a variety of things to do such as writing a letter, saying a prayer or lighting a candle. Maybe writing this blog is one way I am dealing with my own grief.
For those dealing with grief this holiday season, I send comfort and peace. May your good memories, memorabilia dry up your tears.